To see the world…

Ever since I can remember as a child I've been looking at a world blurred by a wash of paints and sudden faded sparks of lights.

Squinting, my eyes adjusted. Deciphering images that sounded familiar against new backdrops and elated sensations I didn't understand. I was by no means blind or close to it. I retained my close/near-sightness (on this I err for I now not what to call a person who can see fine when things are near to them but not far away). Even so, the world further than half my arm's length was always a mystery that I beheld with bated breath. I never knew when something was about to hit me or surprise me. This helped create my sudden burst of jerkiness from loud sounds or quick motions around my environment. My family called me a stuck up kid cause I wouldn't like people swinging things by me. To me, depth-perception was a word I quickly began to hate.

It was years of hearing my parents speak to me as an ingrate because I would make a circus of reading or doing something from afar. I told them I couldn't see what they talked about. Eventually getting close to the object I could decipher their orders. Therefore they called me selfish 'cause I had "my way" with things.

Towards the middle of Middle School a nurse became fed up with teachers sending me to check my eyes and she cut a deal with me. Get my parents to sign a paper saying I could get glasses and she would get me a pair. My parents denial of the problem and subsequent denial of their signature led me to practice the somewhat useful skill of faking signatures that looked admittedly picture perfect. Handing over my permission slip the nurse replied with a thick gray mammoths she named "my first pair of many" glasses. My love with the arts began here.

My head ached beyond any pains I had with my sinus and I contested by wearing them ever more often. Soon I realized they were not my exact size for my head or my eyesight. I overlooked those minor issues in lewd of the benefits that came with the headaches…. An uncontested look at the world beyond my hands!

I finally found out why the boys in my class stared at the girls, the pretty teachers, and to me, the board! Did you know teachers, when fed up, write the answers on the board? I had been a sucker for so long! Tv was even more enjoyable now too. Thank God for that! Video games all the easier, hey I could play without covering the screen for once.

But alas, I am out of time and need to conclude this. I enjoyed my glasses for been the heaven sent they were to my life. As time passed however, like most things, the glasses lost their luster and too many drawbacks held me back on them. Too many little things, I couldn't swim without my glasses, and now with kids I couldn't take my eyes off of them so there I was stuck between I world I could see and take care of my kids, or a world with limited view upon which my kids wanted to have fun but I was too scared to let them have it since I didn't have complete control to keep them safe.

I could keep on going but the point is that today I am going to have my eyes fixed! Many things have happened as of late but this would be it for me! One of my all time dreams is to be able to see. By myself. Not through the looking glass…

I pray everything goes well even if there is no likely-hood of anything to the contrary, still I just wanted to share my thoughts with the void of the internet. There is many of you out there, be good to each other.

After all one of two things is going to happen… either I get to see the world for the first time through unfiltered eyes, or this is the last I see of all of you. If that were the case I wanted to see to it that I at least wished you all well…

---jade